Brothers and sisters at church encourage me to rely on God. He saved me from my sin and eternal death. Back then, that is more than enough. I felt I couldn’t bother God for the mundane, daily grind and struggles, He is God Almighty. So, I will always try to take care of the situation myself, with my ability. If I can’t, can I pay someone to do it for me? Then over time, I forget that God is there. I don’t need His help with life. 

One late night, I couldn’t feel my face and the right side of my body. I felt dizzy and felt myself starting to lose consciousness. I immediately prayed to God, “Save me!”. Immediately, I was fully alert. I thank God I didn’t pass out because no one would know that I needed immediate medical attention. This prompted me to see the doctor. After the results came back, instantly I was referred to see the oncologist. I was stressed and anxious wondering if I was dying. Who would be there when I am sick if I barely had anyone while I was healthy? I couldn’t think of anyone that I could lean on. But God was there. I went to the doctors by myself but I was never alone. He comforted me and gave me inner peace. Each time I was scared, I remembered His promises. Such as, He will take care of me until the end of time. At the end of the ordeal, the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me. 

God used this incident to tell me that He doesn’t think I am annoying and needy. He finds joy in helping me and being involved in my life. How do I know? Because He responds to my requests. I can’t find my keys. I tell God and then I find it in the same place I’ve looked multiple times. I depend on God for everything. He is the only one I can depend on. I don’t have to consider or weigh the pros and cons before asking for help. I can ask freely. To have someone who I can depend on and share my burden with, I shout for joy.